More expensive rubber bands

I was taking a week off blogging to catch up on other projects, but I couldn’t help but highlight two “new” scams…

I have “new” in floaty-bunny-ears because it’s exactly the same bunk as with the Harmony Balance Bands that I have mentioned previously.  You take useless rubber band, wave your hands and say “IONS!” and suddenly that rubber band is now worth anywhere from $40-80 rather than the $1 you paid for it.  These companies are obviously all firmly aboard the same bandwagon and all are now looking to group deal websites to offload huge quantities of products with only slightly-reduced mark-ups.  However, there is one very important difference between the two products (or, more specifically, how they are marketed) that are available today.

Energy Balance Bracelet, from XSV360

The onespout website is pretty thin on details for this deal, so let’s see what the manufacturer says on their main website:

Energy Balance bracelets are an advanced technology that may help take your sport or activity to the next level.

“May help”?  For goodness’ sake…  They might as well admit it doesn’t work.

The ion technology embedded into each band is designed to help balance your body’s natural energy field which may help you increase strength, endurance and balance.

“…designed to help”, “may help”…  More classic “we have no evidence that it will do anything, but we know that the placebo effect + confirmation bias = profit!”

Whether at work, at home, or at play, the Energy Balance bands may help boost your overall health and well being. The Energy Balance bands ion technology goes above and beyond the traditional magnetic jewelry, and only the Energy Balance bands use the newest and most powerful ion technology available today in order to give you maximum results.

Brilliant!  Who wants boring old “traditional magnetic jewellery” that everybody knows doesn’t work?  Why not try some gaudy, cheap, rubber bands that everybody knows don’t work?  I’ll discuss ions below…

As you wear the Energy Balance bracelet, it will harness natural frequencies that occur in your immediate environment to help tune and rebalance your energy field to a more natural state.

What on earth is your “energy field”?

Wondering what your energy field is?

Ah, ok…  Yes!

Your energy field is an integral part of your whole being, not just your body. It is in close balance with every aspect of your self and can become easily unbalanced due to electromagnetic radiation surrounding you at any given moment. When you wear the Energy Balance bracelet, you are restoring your energy field’s natural balance with ion technology that works to balance the frequencies of energy surrounding you.

A very neat concise way of phrasing this utter bovine excrement.  The body does have a very weak electromagnetic field, but there is no evidence that it can become “unbalanced” and there is no evidence that “ion technology” has any effect on the body’s EM field.

Its simple to use, all you do is put it on and incorporate it into your daily activities; most will start seeing and feeling the changes instantly. However, more pronounced changes are more evident after prolonged use. After feeling the effects most people never take their Energy Balance bracelet off.

Confirmation bias, placebo effect…

Wearing the Energy Balance bracelet along with proper exercise and a balanced diet will help you become more energized and help to balance your overall health.

Oh come on!!  Wearing pink frilly knickers along with proper exercise and a balanced diet will help you become more energised and help to balance your overall health…  I want to see this thing work on slobs who subsist entirely on take-out.

Whether you’re a professional athlete or just an average Joe the Energy Balance bracelet may help boost you to reach the next level you’ve been striving for.

“May help”…

But you don’t have to take our word for it, just ask any of the thousands of others who wear the bracelets…

Anecdotes are not data…

…or better yet, TRY ONE FOR YOURSELF TODAY! Join the other skeptics who we turned into believers. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Order now!

They obviously weren’t real skeptics :-)  The only thing we have to lose is $40 (or $15 if we act fast!).

May promote:

Strength
Balance
Endurance
Better Sleep
Overall Well Being

“May”…

1 Size fit all

…because it’s more profitable to buy one size in bulk…

Equilibrium Bands, from EQBandz

The next advert is for Equilibrium Bands from EQBandz.  Spot the differences between this and the advert above:

The bands can help improve your blood circulation, mental performance, immune system while increasing skin cell and tissue production

Balance your biological and emotional levels with today’s deal. Deal of the Day and Equilibrium Bandz are inviting you to control the energy around you by offering Equilibrium Bandz for only $15, regularly $39.99. The bands help to restore chemical balance in your body work by releasing negative ions that increase the levels of serotonin in your blood stream. These bands will help to boost your energy and improve your blood circulation and mental performance. They act as anti-oxidizing agents for your body, while increasing skin cell and tissue production. Choose from five different colours and improve your well-being with the help of Equilibrium Bandz.

Did you spot the difference?  Here are three testable (and, therefore, falsifiable) claims from that passage:

  1. “The bands help to restore chemical balance in your body work by releasing negative ions that increase the levels of serotonin in your blood stream.”
  2. “These bands will help to boost your energy and improve your blood circulation and mental performance.”
  3. “They act as anti-oxidizing agents for your body, while increasing skin cell and tissue production.”

These guys clearly haven’t been to rubber band marketing school.  They’re making testable claims!!  And it gets worse when you go to their website where they make claims such  as “Strengthens Bodies Immune System” and “Improves Blood Circulation”.  This post is getting a bit long and I should be working, so I’ll deal with these claims (and others) in detail in a later post.  It’s an interesting topic!

About these ads

6 thoughts on “More expensive rubber bands

  1. It’s not an entirely analogous fit, but these things remind me of this exchange from the Simpsons:

    Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a
    charm.
    Lisa: That’s spacious reasoning, Dad.
    Homer: Thank you, dear.
    Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
    Homer: Oh, how does it work?
    Lisa: It doesn’t work.
    Homer: Uh-huh.
    Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock.
    Homer: Uh-huh.
    Lisa: But I don’t see any tigers around, do you?
    Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

  2. Pingback: Negative ions and health (a review) « Katatrepsis

  3. Pingback: Inking Ops Blog

  4. My 12-year-old nephew was wearing some kind of band, and I asked him what it was about.He told me that it worked by fooling people’s brains into thinking it was helping them perform better. That seemed like good enough insight for a 12yo, so I left it there, since I didn’t want to break his placebo :).

  5. I don’t know if they work or not, but I wore mine for a few months and the rubber snapped (it was not abused or stretched, etc) and Equilibrium Banz has no warranty…rip off!

  6. Pingback: Do Power Balance wrist bands work? Of course they don’t… | Katatrepsis

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